


Close to Some New Beginning

by aleia



Series: Sweet Silver Lining [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode s03e16: The One That Got Away, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia
Summary: I just watched the most recent 911 episode and apparently I just want to pair Buck with anyone who will hug him now.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Josh Russo
Series: Sweet Silver Lining [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731151
Comments: 18
Kudos: 152
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Close to Some New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Personally, I do actually love Buck and Eddie as friends because I do think close male friendships like theirs are very important to show more often. And they have seemed to hint at Buck being bi more than Eddie. (Of course, I promise to keep writing my Buddie fic too.)

Buck didn’t expect anyone else on the crew to show up for Red’s funeral. They already did a lot and they all have other things to do. Maddie agreed to go with him and that was enough. But Eddie slid into the seat next to him just before the service started.

“Sorry,” Eddie whispered. “Christopher didn’t want to let me leave.”

Afterwards, Eddie hugged him and gripped his shoulder the way that always makes Buck want to do things that he knows he never will.

“Listen, you’re not going to be alone, okay?” Eddie said. “Christopher loves you. You’re my best friend. I didn’t ditch you the other night. You just didn’t want to spend the night with a lot of fourth graders hyped up on sugar—which was a smart decision that I’m not blaming you for. But you’re always welcome. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Buck said.

Eddie squeezed his shoulder and let him go.

“Do you want to come with me to Abuela’s? Christopher will be excited. Abuela will feed you, say you’re too skinny, and try to set you up with her friends’ daughters.”

Buck smiled. Eddie’s told him a million times that he’s part of the family, and he means it even if he doesn’t mean it the way that Buck wants him to.

But Buck shook his head. Normally Buck loves entertaining Eddie’s family, but it felt like too much after the past few days.

“Okay. Text me if you need anything. Even if you just want to come over and hang out tonight.”

Buck had nodded and let him go. It was probably a stupid thing to do because now Buck’s alone in his apartment because Maddie had to go to work a late shift. He’s staring at GrubHub and trying to decide what he wants when nothing sounds appetizing.

*

 **Josh:** Are you home so I can bring something by?  
 **Buck:** Yeah sure.  
 **Josh:** Okay. I’ll be by in half an hour.

*

Josh shows up with three bags of Chinese food.

“Maddie said that you don’t eat enough when you’re sad,” Josh tells him. “And I thought maybe you wouldn’t be in the mood to cook.”

Josh sets the bags on his kitchen counter and starts pulling out containers. “I didn’t know what you liked, but Chinese food reheats easily. After I got out of the hospital, I was just snacking every once in a while, anyway and it was good for that, so I figured you could have leftovers.”

Buck’s still trying to catch up when he realizes that Josh isn’t taking off his coat.

“Wait. Are you going to make me eat by myself?” Buck asks.

Josh freezes and when he looks at Buck, Buck recognizes that expression. He’s spent a lot of time hiding it in the past few days.

“I don’t really want to be alone,” Buck admits so that Josh doesn’t have to.

Josh’s smile is shy and sweet. He’s not Eddie, but Buck can’t pretend he hasn’t been texting Josh a little more since the poker night at Maddie’s.

“Did Maddie call you?” Buck asks after they’re on the couch trying to find something to watch on Netflix.

“Not really,” Josh says. “She mentioned it when she was starting her shift. I was getting off work, so I wanted to check on you, but she didn’t ask me to do it. I, um, didn’t tell her I was going to text you.”

“Yeah? Are you keeping me a secret?” Buck asks with a grin. He shouldn’t tease, but he can’t help enjoying the way Josh gets flustered when he flirts.

“I didn’t tell her because she’d tell me to back off. Not that there’s anything to back off from. I just wanted to check on you. As a friend. I was just going to drop off the food and go.”

Josh’s face is turning so pink that Buck has to put him out of his misery. He puts his hand on Josh’s arm and says, “Thanks. I didn’t want to be alone, but everyone else had something. They would’ve let me come over and Eddie would come over by himself if I asked him, but…”

Buck shrugs and pulls his hand away.

“You didn’t want to bring them down,” Josh finishes for him.

Buck nods. Eddie’s family almost lost him just a few weeks ago. Christopher doesn’t need to see Buck sad and worry about him, too.

“So,” Josh says as Buck goes back to flipping through Netflix options. “Eddie?”

Buck groans, “Straight. Totally straight. I’ve literally asked him if he’d ever even thought about it while he was in the army and he said, ‘you know they let women be in the army now, right?’”

Josh laughs. “Sorry. That sucks. So, he doesn’t know about you?”

“Maddie told you?”

“No. But neither of you have told me you’re straight when I’ve hinted at it.”

Buck nods. “It’s not a secret. Bobby knows. Chim probably does. Eddie would be fine if I told him I was bi, but then he’d start asking questions…”

Buck can see Josh’s nod out of the corner of his eye, so he adds, “It’s not a big deal. I know it seems like a big deal, but it’s a crush. If he was interested, everything would just be so easy. When I start dating someone else, I’ll tell him and then it won’t be a big deal. I just haven’t met anyone that stayed long enough. No one takes me seriously. I’m just a mid-life crisis or someone to play with or a cute firefighter to claim on Facebook until someone has to deal with me actually _being_ a firefighter.”

Buck’s not surprised when Josh’s hand slips into his, but he’s not prepared for now nice it feels either.

“I didn’t come over for this,” Josh says. “And I don’t think you should answer me about it right now anyway, but I’m not here looking for any of those things, okay? I’m interested if you decide you’re interested, too. But if you just want a gay friend to sympathize with you about the cluelessness of straight people, that’s okay, too.”

Buck knows he’s right about the timing. But he _has_ been sending Josh flirty texts. His interest isn’t new. But also, right now, he wants to declare a lot of stupid things just because he’s sad and lonely.

“Can we just…” Buck’s not sure how to ask for what he wants, so he moves closer and uses their linked hands to drape Josh’s arm around his shoulders before letting go.

“Yeah. Of course,” Josh says as he pulls Buck closer.

***

They watch five episodes of Parks and Rec with Buck snuggled up in Josh’s arms. By the last episode, the stress of the last few days is catching up with him and Buck can’t keep his eyes open, but he doesn’t want to leave the safety of Josh’s arms. Josh’s hand runs through the short hair on the back of his head and Buck doesn’t try to hold in his smile when Josh kisses his forehead.

“I should go home, and _you_ should go to sleep.”

Buck nods even though he really doesn’t want Josh to leave. Josh is right. He’s sad and it’s making him more needy for affection than normal. Josh hugs him at the door and then pulls down Buck’s head to kiss him on the forehead.

“Take your time,” Josh says. “We can just keep being friends if you want.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm listing this as a stand-alone part of a series because I'm not sure how far I'm going to go with it and I think I can write each part as though it could be it's own little story. I've been quarantined and unemployed since March 13th so I'm just writing a lot, but when I go back to work, there's no way I can keep up with 10 WIPs so I want to leave this one open to stopping at any time. The next part is already written though. :D
> 
> If you want to read all my stuff not on Ao3 it is posted on a different site or (if you just want to follow me on tumblr so I have more 9-1-1 people), I'm not to allowed to link it here, but the link to that can be found on  
> my tumblr: @lostinanimage


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